Photo by Aidan Henriques

Up on a hill, sits steel lettering that reflects the sun’s brutal light. Buried in the calcium-rich soil lies the ancient foundations of the sign. The steel plates that cover the geometric symbols can be heard whispering tales regarding their long and interesting past. From far away, the sign appears sturdy and well-organized. However, when inspected closer, the sign is blatantly falling apart. Much like what it represents.

Although Hollywood was founded on the ideals of creativity and exploration, those ideals have been ruined by a century of scandal and commercialized repetition. As a result the humble agrarian town turned into a compromised city focused on profits at the expense of forgotten dreams. The thousands of ambitious actors lost hope and gave up on any possibility guaranteed by this land. Similar to a shooting star burning up in the atmosphere.

As the moon and sun continued their endless tango, one reminder remained the same: up on a hill sits steel lettering. Its pale colors are easy to recognize against the tan hillside. It shines as a beacon of hope to those looking from below. However, the sign's most important symbol is hidden from the observer. Less than a half mile behind the hill remains the town’s largest cemetery. Buried within the dry ground remains over 150,000 souls. Yet the viewer looking up is oblivious to the somber indication of mortality. Out of ignorance, the viewer chooses to see what they want to see. That is the sign’s fatal mistake.

Why is it that such a famous and prominent sign has caused more harm? It’s a lighthouse guiding clueless ships into the rocky Californian shore. Hopeless entertainers across the world follow this beacon of light thinking it will provide comfort and stability. Yet it guides them to an almost guaranteed place of failure.

What was once the land of dreams, slowly became the land of shattered ambitions.

Up on a hill sits steel lettering, its long and dark shadow falls over the houses and studios below, taunting those who have fallen short.

Photo by Derek Grimes

What creates desire? What causes human blood to boil? Is it satisfying to always get whatever we want? Life is full of highs and lows. The ability to be rejected and fail repeatedly is what makes a person human. Getting everything one desires creates a sense of boredom and overall ungratefulness within the mind of a person. The imperfect mess of life creates a sense of perseverance and reveals those that are thankful as opposed to those that are selfish and careless.

Throughout every person's childhood they have been to a store and asked their parents for toys, snacks, clothing, or whatever it may be. Because a parent's love is so strong and blind, most of the time they give in to their precious child and give them what they request. However, every so often a parent may be in a rush, they may have had a bad day, they may not have enough money, or whatever reason it may be, they reject their children’s request. The child begins to wonder if they misbehaved and maybe their parents don’t love them. In the end, they come to this conclusion: that’s not fair. As a child, even as adults, human nature naturally focuses on the negatives rather than the positives. In light of the circumstance, the countless times that a child's parents blessed them with a new commodity are irrelevant during the one time they get told no.

Imagine every time a person asked for something the answer was yes. Sure, they may be filled with delight in the moment and satisfied by being told what they want to hear. However, after countless times of being told yes, the excitement starts to fade. That person knows whatever they ask for they will receive. Then, they’ll stop asking as much, later, they’ll quit becoming excited, and ultimately they’ll give in to being careless and lack emotion. Unfair events happening to people create excitement and effort. The more a person fails, the more they desire to succeed. Failing does two things to a person. If a person continues to fail, they can become fed up and quit. On the other hand, if a person fails multiple times, they can become motivated, they continue to progress, see the finish line, and achieve what they desire. Briefly stated, Life is cruel and uncaring to whether or not humans succeed.

Everyday, people are going through unfair obstacles life throws at them. Everyday someone’s family member dies. Everyday someone crashes their car. Everyday someone fails a test. These are all examples of unfair situations. Yet what’s also unfair is people like me and you sit here comfortably in a secure and safe environment, able to go back to their home knowing that we have people that love us and a roof over our head, while others are not so fortunate. I’ve been ungrateful numerous times, I’ve taken blessings for granted, and I’ve seen others do the same and pay the price. I now understand that life itself is unfair and ultimately may never be fair, but the positive choices people make in life will guide them towards some fairness. As a society, individuals need to make the most out of everything they have and not become upset when things don’t go their way. In the end, every citizen has one of two choices; either give up and feel sorry for themselves, or persevere and strive for better opportunities.

Photo by Caleb Lee

The one eternal truth - successful or not, rich or not, religious or not, philosophical or not, none of it matters - we all die. You will die. From the beginning of time to the end, death has always been perceived as something to fear, not because of death itself, but the uncertainty when death will arrive. It is one universal inevitable commonality. The smart and stupid, the kings and peasants, they all die. Some prefer not to think about it. But others live by it, live by the idea that death will approach. Why? So they may actually live.

To us moderners, this idea sounds awful. Why think of death? Such a morbid thought to us, who would think of it? We’re so quick to revere these ideas but what if we did the opposite? What if we embraced? What if reflection and meditation on this simple idea was the key to living life to the fullest? Or the key to freedom? “The reason I believe in it (death as motivation) is because it’s ultimately practical. It’s the guiding light and the fire and ambition that drives me toward legacy and living my best life” Gary Vaynerchuk.

Remember that you may die. The point of this reminder isn’t meant to be viewed as harrowing or fearful, but to inspire, to invoke freedom and clarity. The idea has been central to more than just philosophy, it's seen in ancient art, literature, architecture, and modern day media. A couple hundred years ago in the mid to late 1300s, the world was rocked by one of the greatest catastrophes in history, The Black Death. The pandemic wiped out over 25 million people, including 2/3s of Europe's population. During the peak of plague, grew an art genre called Danse Macabre, meaning Dance or Death. Similar to the plague, Danse Macabre illustrates the conquering power of death. The paintings depicted skeletons of kings and peasants, young and old, poor and rich, all dancing together, to convey that death comes for everyone. The Bible is the most read book in the world. The longest and most popular book in the Bible is Psalms, with the most quotations and debatably the most admired. Famous author and Christian writer, C.S Lewis reflects on Death in Psalms and how it is centered around immortality and how death is inevitable. “O Remember how short my time is” 89:46 . Catholicism, if anything, celebrates death as funerary art displayed with tombstones and you’ll find crucifixes around peoples necks as they commemorate the death of their savior. Facing death head on is seen in present day media. Beloved artist, Mac Miller, shot his last music video just 8 weeks before his tragic passing, and included a clip of him carving the words Memento Mori in a coffin and punching through it. The scene includes him climbing out of a pile of dirt during the verse:
“I got all the time in the world
So for now, I’m just chillin’
Plus, I know it’s a, it’s a beautiful feeling
In oblivion”

Today, the average person doesn’t think of death because it’s uncomfortable, frightening and sad. Fortunately, we no longer live in an age where we fear losing our life to a Roman gladiator, or being eaten by a tiger, or falling ill to a deadly plague. Unfortunately, life has become so safe and secure, we have this misconception that we have till tomorrow to do it, we have another day to hash out an argument with a friend, we can put off another week to hang out with grandma, that we have time. We start to think we are going to live forever, and that things are always going to go our way. Death is what gives life meaning-it’s the finish line at the end that helps us make the most of the time we’ve been given. Don’t waste your time on trivial, pointless things. Don’t take for granted the time you have been given.

Photo by Aidan Guzman

What does it mean to lose a loved one? How does losing someone affect not only your life, but how you see the world around you. When someone is lost, it is obvious something is gone. Their physical appearance, their smell, the sound of their voice, the expressions on their face, are all gone. But that is not the hard part to accept. What is truly crushing to take in is the idea of forgetting. Forgetting someone who has been close to you for years and years. Forgetting someone you loved and cherished. Forgetting someone you protected and nurtured. Losing someone is not about losing their presence in your life, but about losing their essence, their familiarity to you.

In my life, I have not dealt with a loss this crushing before and for that I am greatly thankful. The way death is described however, makes me greatly understand what it truly means. Thinking of losing someone close to me and then forgetting them entirely is deeply frightening. I might think “what is wrong with me?” But nothing will be wrong, as this is just human nature. Maybe some memories will become distant and forgotten, but what is truly important to me is that my loved ones stay with me in my heart. Meaning, I may lose the idea of their physical presence, but I will never lose the memory of how they made me feel and how important they were in my life. Writing this down, I cannot help but think this is selfish in a way, revolving heavily around what I think and might feel, but who else is there to be involved in a situation of death like this other than the effects left on me?

Grief might not only affect your life in situations involving death, but also those around you. When dealing with grief, it is important to have some form of outward expression, some way of getting your feeling out into the world in order to not only heal what is going on inside, but share your experience and help others understand. Close relatives need to know what is going on, so bottling feelings and pretending everything is fine simply will not do. Documenting thoughts and feelings is not only a way to make your own feelings known to others, but also to yourself. Opening up the world to your own creative way of thinking can impact others experiencing grief and maybe show them that they are not alone in the feelings they are feeling. Specifically, the feelings of fear involved in grief are the most important to understanding how you feel truly.

What is fear in the context of grief and how is it avoided? Is there really one solid answer to avoiding the fear of loss? Loss is interpreted differently by everyone and is extremely depressing, frightening, and shocking in a sense that something is forever being lost. Avoidance in grief is simply impossible. Yes, emotions can be cut off, blocked out, bottled up for later expression through years of anger and trauma, but that is not what I am talking about. How can grief not only be avoided, but transformed into feelings of acceptance and love? This is only possible by getting over the immense fear of loss. But how can loss be seen as scary? Loss is scary because the person you are losing is gone forever, never to return. Loss is scary because the person who died is not only gone right now, but has the possibility of being lost in memories as well. Losing the idea of someone is far scarier than the death itself. Letting someone whom you deeply cherished become a picture on the mantle, that is where true fear is found. Loss scars everyone differently, and the only way out of shock and an endless pit of fear is expression. Expression can be anything, any way of getting your feelings out into the world. Writing, painting, singing, anything that can channel your loss into creativity. Even just speaking with a therapist can be seen as an outward expression, just do not hold onto what once was.

Photo by Aidan Henriques

The icy breeze fills the city air. It is not cold enough for powdery snow, but not warm enough to melt all the sludge to pure water. As I walk on the cracked and slippery sidewalk down West 50th Street, I parade through my own evident breath. Each towering building is dripping frosty water that patters onto my head. I pass by many whose laughs and joyous cacophonies fill the air. Shops are starting to close down for the night, and people are hailing cabs to take them home, but I keep walking. My boots trudge through the icy pavement, and there is nothing else for me to do except follow the street lights. All lights are off but a few, so I finally head home. I don’t always venture out this late, but when I do, it is both eye-opening and depressing. The city by itself this time of year seems lonely and disheartening. It just feels like I am looking at one huge mirror. Everyone’s got someone, but it's just me in my studio apartment, where the window longingly gazes at a brick wall from next door. Just a blank wall out of the only window in my one-room box, living alone. How have humans devolved to living like this? Are we really making the most out of our lives? We used to not just live, but thrive, and create. This is no longer the case, I truly have no idea what we are doing.

Photo by Preston Guinto

The art of Intrinsic motivation is fueled by happiness. “Practice makes perfect” is such a cliche saying, instilled in us at a young age, that lingers as we grow older. We hear it time and time again in the passions we pursue, but what is that driving force that carries us through even the toughest of times when chasing our dreams? It’s intrinsic motivation, only found when experiencing true euphoria, true happiness. This feeling stems from the flow state, when one loses track of time and is fully engrossed in the task at hand, completely absorbed in passion. It is this rapture we get that enables us to keep going. Some may say that force is a direct result of experiencing success and the pleasure it brings, but that kind of pleasure is always short lived. Once we get a taste of success we constantly desire more and more of it, never feeling truly satisfied. Accelerating a 100 mph will always feel better than going a 100 mph. Happiness sparks intrinsic motivation-it’s that burning feeling within that fuels our passions and the things we love doing. The things that make us happy.